Relationship Revelations
by Tsuki Yosuke
Summary: The humans were on board the meteor, Gamzee wasn't killing anyone, and everyone - humans and trolls - were going to the human's post-Scratch universe. Everything was all right now...wasn't it? Rated T for Karkat's cussing.
1. Part 1

**Hello and thank you for reading this ahead of time! This was an RP I did with carcin0Geneticist over Omegle. Hope you enjoy the fluff~!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck. If I did, there would be so much more canon. 0_0  
**

**~X~~~0~~~X~  
**

On a meteor floating though the Veil, a certain nubby-horned troll crouched on the roof of a makeshift community hive where four trolls and two humans lived, him included. The usually grouchy troll stayed in his place on the roof as the meteor hurtled through yet another dream bubble. He didn't say anything, sullenly watching as the landscape changed around him.

Karkat pulled his legs closer to his chest, peering over his knees at the melded memories around him. The others were inside, probably messing things up as usual and in desperate need of his leaderly help. But Karkat didn't feel like being a leader right now. So instead he continued to blankly stare ahead with his mutant red eyes.

There was Terezi's old hive, complete with her dragon dolls hanging from the tree by their nooses. There was Gamzee's world, colorful enough to warrant his description of "a LaNd Of MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS, hOnK. =O)". There was a desert of hoofbeasts that couldn't possibly be all that important. And there was –

Huh.

Karkat blinked as one of the destroyed Aradia robots approached him, landing on the roof near where he was sitting.

"Oh fantastic," he growled, glaring at the alternate version of Aradia. "Like I wasn't mind-numbingly bored already. What the fuck are you even doing here?"

Alternate-Aradia simply looked at the angry troll with her usual deadpan expression. "I did not think that I was that boring." The robot-Aradia looked around before asking, "Where are the others?"

"They're all inside," Karkat replied before narrowing his eyes at her. "Wait a fucking minute. Why the fuck do you want to know? What, am I just not interesting enough for your deceased see holes? That's it, I've caught you in the fucking act, Megido."

"No," Aradia denied. "You are interesting. I was just curious if I could speak to the humans."

Karkat scoffed. "Don't bother. They're all idiots."

Aradia looked at him with a slightly-more-curious deadpan expression. "What about the Rose human? Kanaya seems to like her well enough."

"There are other gogdamned humans other than the Seer of Fuck," Karkat growled, "and they're all fucking ridiculous."

Robot-Aradia tilted her cranium slightly, looking at Karkat with passive blue eyes. "Then why did we waste our resources trolling them in the first place?"

_OH MY GOG_, Karkat thought. _IS SHE GOING TO FUCKING ASK THESE STUPID QUESTIONS THE WHOLE TIME._

Out loud, Karkat responded, "Because the fucking consensus at the time was that they were hugely repulsive and deserved to know just how fucking far their stupidity extended. There was this huge fucking leaderly speech and everything, remember?"

"I remember," Aradia said. "I also remember that you seemed to be interested in the John human."

_OH FUCK NO_. "That's an old thing and past me was a fucking idiot for even going down that road. He was the fucking definition of "lummox" with how gogdamned stupid he was."

"So you hated him?" Aradia questioned. This version of Aradia seemed to do nothing but question. "Romantically hated him?"

Karkat grimaced. "Like I said, it was temporary. I came to my senses."

Aradia-bot's expression didn't change at all. "Okay then, I suppose."

And suddenly Karkat was beyond frustrated with this version of Aradia. "Yes, you suppose. Go the fuck ahead and suppose the shit out of my meager statement. You and your gogdamned metal shit-thinkpan make all of the fucking assumptions. Have fun." Karkat turned around, shifting his back to the robot.

"I shall attempt to have fun in my state of death."

And suddenly Karkat was beyond guilty as Aradia's statement made it into his thinkpan. He mentally face palmed and cursed his past self's utter stupidity.

"Okay, now I feel like an asshole." Karkat ignored Aradia's "Do not worry" and went on. "Which I am, there's no denying that. Oh Gog, is this why no one likes me?"

Yup, it would make sense. Terezi, his flush crush, seemed way more comfortable hanging out with Dave than with him. Dave didn't hang out with him either, but he was a douchebag and didn't count. Kanaya and the Rose human tended to stay away from him to do whatever the fuck they did, and he hadn't seen hide or hair of Gamzee since the humans had joined their meteor of death. Now that he thought about it, before they had died, the other trolls had always been insufferable. He couldn't remember if it had been because they were just nooksniffers or if he'd been the one antagonizing them with his temper.

Now he couldn't even ask them.

Aradia's computerized voice brought Karkat out of his depressing train of thought. "I cannot say. I have very little emotion in this state."

Karkat looked back over his shoulder and stared at alternate-Aradia. "Well, that was encouraging." Karkat sighed, "I guess I really don't have any redeeming features, then, if not even the dead girl can say anything for it."

Aradia floated somewhat closer to the hunched-over troll. "You have made a good leader," she pointed out.

Karkat looked back to her. "I got everyone killed," he retorted. "I was a terrible leader and now I'm paying the price by prostrating my self before a bunch of sick humans, waving my ass in the air in a gesture of complacency and surrender."

"You were the one to prevent everyone from killing each other, though."

"Well yeah, there was that. But I could have done more."

"In his state of mind? Are you certain?"

"..." Karkat lapsed into a rare silence as he stared at this alternate-Aradia. "This is a trick question, isn't it. Yes I'm fucking certain."

"I think you must recall the exact situation," Aradia – alternate-Aradia – reminded him. "Gamzee did not lose his thinkpan because of you. You were not even in the nearby vicinity when that occurred. Anyone would have feared for their life in that situation."

Karkat shook his head, somehow curling even further into himself. "But I should have been there to calm him down. We're moirails for a fucking reason."

"But you did," alternate-Aradia said.

"Just shy of too late, when everyone was about to cull each other." Karkat buried his head further into his knees. "I got lucky."

"No, you did not," Aradia corrected. "You supported him as his moirail. It was just later than 'perfectly in time'."

Karkat whipped his head up to glare at robot-Aradia. "What good am I as leader if I can't be perfectly fucking on time? He culled Equius and – oh Gog. It's all my fucking fault."

"It is not all your fault," alternate-Aradia reassured. "You did not beat them with juggling batons. The insane Gamzee did. And he is now gone, thanks to you."

Karkat stared at this strange alternate-Aradia for a moment in another rare fit of silence. He seemed to be having a lot of those lately. "Since when are you so fucking nice and lovely and encouraging and shit? Are you ill? Do you have a death cold or some shit?"

The alternate-Aradia did the equivalent to a deadpan-shrug. "Since I understand death more than ever before. It would not be conducive to have our leader be mentally distressed. Although thinking about it..." The robot's head tilted. "Should you not be talking this over with Gamzee?"

"What. Why."

"He is your moirail, after all," Aradia reminded the other troll, as if she had to remind him about that at all.

Karkat gave the robot-Aradia a look that said _oh-fuck-no-are-you-batshit-fucking-insane_. "What, I should talk to him about how I couldn't help him because I'm a useless nooksniffer? That I completely fucking failed him as a moirail?"

"He would be able to give you his opinion on that matter," alternate-Aradia said.

"His opinion would be somewhere between 'motherfucking miracles' and 'It's all good, brother'," Karkat muttered. It was always easy to tell with Gamzee.

"Of course," alternate-Aradia agreed. "Because he cares about you as his moirail."

Karkat sat there for a moment, thinking. Alternate-Aradia looked on for a while, waiting with her newfound patience-of-the-truly-dead. It was silent once more for a while, robot-Aradia and Karkat simply standing and sitting on the roof, respectively.

Alternate-Aradia tilted her head. "Karkat?"

The nubby-horned troll was startled out of his reverie and looked up at the robot-Aradia. "Fuck. I got distracted."

"By what, exactly?" Aradia-bot queried.

"I'm contemplating on exactly which moment of this conversation I should shove my thumbs up my waste chute," Karkat growled, his usual grouchy demeanor returning.

"I would ask that you not do that," alternate-Aradia said. "Talking about these things will help you in the long run."

Karkat grumbled, "I fucking honestly can't think of anything more boring."

"Perhaps you should speak with Gamzee, then?" robot-Aradia suggested. "He will certainly be more entertaining than I."

"Yeah yeah, fine," Karkat grumbled. "But only because you're dead and omnipotent."

The Aradia-robot only stared back at him. "I shall take that as a compliment. Now go and see your moirail."

Karkat watched as the alternate-Aradia turned around and left the roof of the meteor as the dream bubble ended. He sat there for a moment, not quite believing what just happened. But after all the shit that had happened in SGrub, that hadn't been anything, really. So, grouching and grumbling all the way, Karkat stood from his spot on the roof and left to go find his moirail.

**~X~~~0~~~X~**

**So, I hope you enjoyed it! R&R please!  
**


	2. Part 2

**Thank you to everyone who realized that I didn't just forget to mark this as completed! This is the other half of this RP that I wanted to do, but then I had to leave and couldn't do it with my buddy. This will be the end of the story, so have fun~**

**~X~~~0~~~X~  
**

Karkat snuck around the back hallways of the meteor, avoiding the others in his search for his moirail. He walked through his section of their makeshift hive, heading towards the transportalizer that would take him to the main room of transportalizers leading to everyone's respiteblocks.

The red-blooded troll gulped nervously. His talk with that alternate version of Aradia had pushed him to do this, but he was still apprehensive about telling his problems to Gamzee. It was ridiculous in a way, but he just couldn't shake the feeling that his innards were twisting slightly.

Because going to a possibly insane subjuggulating juggalo through an obscure route so that no one knows where you're going to ask for conciliatory redrom attention was just so comforting.

Karkat stepped on the first transportalizer without thinking and quickly went over to the next before he could start.

The troll grumpily strode through the halls of Gamzee's section of the meteor, looking for signs of the highblood. He passed a few stray horns and blood smears along the way to the end of the corridor. He found Gamzee's oinkbeaststy of a respiteblock, horns littering the floor and somewhat disturbing "paintings" on the walls.

Karkat looked around the respiteblock. Unsurprisingly, Gamzee was nowhere to be found. Karkat sighed. It looked like he would have to wait for him to get back. He wondered where exactly he would –

"HONK!"

"GOG FUCKING DAMMIT!" Karkat turned a glare onto the clown behind him. "What the FUCK, Gamzee?"

"Honk honk, BEST FRIEND." The purple-blooded troll grinned at Karkat, ignoring his friend's shouting. "What are you motherfucking doing here?"

Karkat's glare subsided into a grimace as nervousness made his insides twist again. "What, I can't even fucking see my moirail anymore?"

"IT'S GREAT THAT YOU'RE MOTHERFUCKING VISITING, KARBRO. But you don't all up and get your visit on all that much. SO WHY ARE YOU GETTING YOUR VISIT ON NOW?" Gamzee looked at Karkat curiously as though he hadn't just shouted his listening holes off.

Karkat hesitated for a few seconds, his own doubts flying around his thinkpan. Gamzee would listen, right? Sure, they were still moirails, but he had gone from high-on-sopor-slime to high-blooded-subjuggulator. Okay no, this insecure shit had to go.

"Come on, Gamzee" Karkat jerked his head towards the horn pile. "We need to talk."

Realization dawned on the clown. "You need a feelings jam, bro? WHY DIDN'T YOU MOTHERFUCKING SAY SO?"

Gamzee strode over to the pile of horns before loudly flopping into it. The juggalo shifted onto his back and patted the spot next to him, making even more honking. Karkat followed suit and sat down next to him, grimacing (more, somehow) when he heard a loud _honk_.

"Gogdammit, why does this have to be a horn pile?"

"Because of motherfucking miracles, bro. HONK HONK!" Gamzee replied, smiling at his moirail's crabbiness.

Karkat looked at the clown, seeming to be thinking about something. Before Gamzee could get it in his thinkpan to ask what that was, Karkat made his decision and crawled on top of him. The red-blooded troll made himself comfortable, resting his head on Gamzee's chest and loosely wrapping his arms around him in an almost-hug.

Bright red eyes glared up at the highblood. "Just shut the fuck up and listen to me. Got it?"

"Sure thing, Karbro." Gamzee loosely wrapped his arms around Karkat in return and waited for him to speak.

Karkat stared at Gamzee for a while. Once he was sure that the clown would actually stay silent, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and oh holy shit that was a lot of words coming out of his protein chute.

"First off, every fucking one on this stupid space rock is gogdamn insane, I swear. Kanaya is a fucking rainbow drinker for fuck's sake! She fucking glows and everything! I just know that one day she's gonna start drinking the fucking rainbow on this meteor out of starvation or some shit. Then there's that stupid Rose human she's been hanging around with lately. Fucking know-it-all human's been being all superior and shit when I'm the gogdamn leader around here! Stupid fucking thinkpan-analyzing human thinks she's such a fucking riot or some shit. And the Dave human – ugh. Him and his fucking "ironic" shades are just getting on my nerves. He is just dancing on my nerves, frazzling them every time he does the one-two step or some other cool shit. Then Terezi – there is just a huge clusterfuck of emotional shit going on at my end relating to her that I wouldn't expect you to be able to wrap your thinkpan around it."

Karkat panted for a minute, regaining his breath. Gamzee looked at his best friend and opened his mouth to speak, but Karkat shooshed him.

"No, no talking, just – one more thing, okay?" Karkat saw Gamzee nod and took his hand back. He took one last deep breath and let loose the last of his emotional baggage.

"And then there's you. You, you stupid subjuggulating fuckass of a moirail, have had me worried since you fucking disappeared with Sollux's body. Here I am, thinking that I've done a shit job as a moirail, and you're just flashstepping everywhere with that creepy-ass puppet of yours and avoiding everyone. Fuck, I don't even know what to say to this shit other than just – FUCK!"

Karkat buried his head into the other's chest, childishly trying to hide his face. Gamzee was shocked speechless. The nubby-horned troll assumed it would take a while for the juggalo to process all of his ranting so he contented himself with waiting, breathing in the scent of his moirail's shirt. The blood smell didn't really help.

They laid like that for a while, Karkat not-quite clinging to Gamzee in relative silence. Then Gamzee started moving, rubbing one hand up and down Karkat's back in a soothing motion while wrapping his other arm tightly around his waist. Karkat shuddered slightly, feeling himself relax under Gamzee's ministrations.

"MAN, KARKLES. How long have you been keeping this all in?" Gamzee asked, watching as Karkat started to loosen up. "YOU SHOULDN'T ALL UP AND DO THAT. I'm here for you, bro."

Karkat simply breathed, letting his moirail shoosh his tension away. He sighed and nuzzled Gamzee's chest, feeling his muscles relax as his worries left his mind.

After a moment Karkat sighed again. "Yeah, you're probably right, fuckass. So I'm not apologizing."

He heard Gamzee laugh above him. "I CAN ALL UP AND BE GETTING THAT, BRO. Don't you worry your thinkpan about it. HONK HONK."

Karkat grimaced and looked up to glare at the clown. "NO, gogdammit. You will NOT start honking in this fucking horn pile."

"Honk." Gamzee grinned when he saw Karkat twitch.

"Ugh. You stupid fuckass," Karkat grumbled, burying his head back into his moirail's blood-stained shirt. He growled, "Dammit, Gamzee, you need to do something about this shirt. It's all fucking bloody."

The bard laughed. "SURE THING, KARKLES. Sure fucking thing."

**~X~~~0~~~X~**

**Well, I hope everyone loved the Gamzee Karkat cuddles~!  
**

**R&R if you want. Flames shall be donated to your specific personalized hell.  
**


End file.
